Happy Monday! First things first, today my blog is officially two years old!
So why the hell is my blog post about quitting blogging? Read on!
In some ways, I feel really awesome about this, but if I take a few moments to compare my blog to other blogs the same age, it’s seriously basic.
But just because it’s basic, doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate it.
I actually feel kind of bad, because I haven’t been giving my blog the time and energy it deserves.
Why I Thought About Quitting My Blog
In fact, I contemplated — all weekend — whether or not I would even renew my domain and keep things going on BPM.
Ultimately, I decided to because this has been a labor of love and has gotten me through so much and I want to continue.
I started this blog at a time when I really didn’t know what to do with my life. I had just passed my personal training certification exam. I was working at a job I didn’t love — or even like, really. I also had just come out of a draining relationship.
I thought starting a blog would be a great way to work through some of the stuff I had been struggling with and to help myself get to know myself better.
Since starting this blog, I have grown as a trainer and I have expanded my horizon with further education in health and behavioral wellness. I truly believe that I wouldn’t have done all of this had it not been for my passion for this blog and for finding my way.
One of the main reasons I thought about giving up this blog is that I am starting to really pick up my business and will soon be building a new business site which will soon become my main focus and where the majority of my time and energy will go beyond the people I work with in-person.
However, I remembered that this blog has pretty much saved me and I think it can still grow along with me.
It may not be mind-blowingly beautiful, technologically amazing, or that well-known, but it’s mine and it’s where I started.
I don’t like to turn my back on what I believe in and believe we should never forget our beginnings.
I’m not saying my blog will ever be anything more than it is right now.
So, I’ve been MIA Well, not in real life or anything, but as far as the blogosphere is concerned, I kinda fell off the face of the earth for the last 9 days.
I’ve been so busy with courses, clients AND setting up something new and exciting that I will hopefully be able to talk way more about next week!
There will most likely be some big changes as Beets Per Minute nears it’s second BIRTHDAY, this coming Monday.
Let’s just say I have A LOT to think about between today and Sunday!
Good thing I am going up to my in-law’s where the Internet is an illusion and you have to do things like go into nature and have actual face-to-face conversations.
It’s a good thing!
I’ve also discovered that I don’t know how to make pulled pork in a slow cooker, which is supposed to be as easy as boiling water AND that first pancakes are sort of like clouds. You know, if you stare at them long enough they start to look like things.
For instance, this totally looks like a frog jumping off a lily pad …right?
LOLZ (FYI, if you use “LOL” these days you’re apparently “old”).
There are, like, 99 reasons I’m most pleased that I am not a “Millennial”.
Also, we got rid of that pan. Haha (young).
But wait, there’s more!
There are five facts I have learned about myself in the stress that has been the last approximate week and a half.
Hey, everybody! It’s been a while since I’ve done a fitness post! Since my days are basically filled with workouts I’ve created for my clients, I thought I would share one with you. I LOVE workouts that are off the gym floor. I actually have a confession: I DON’T LIKE THE GYM.
I love working out, obviously, but I don’t like gyms. I know that sometimes you gotta take it inside, but what I like to do and how I roll with my clients can be done just about anywhere. I like to create fun, varying, and functional workouts because they keep people interested and THEY WORK.
One of my ABSOLUTE favorite tools is the battle rope because it is so much fun AND I feel like a total badass after I use them. So, badass, in fact, that, I feel like I could roll up on Rhonda Rousey …and still get my ass kicked in under three seconds. I think that battle ropes should come with a warning on them, because you do feel insanely tough after you use them and you could end up having your mouth write a check your ass can’t cash.
But I digress because I’m starting to make no sense.
If you have access to battle ropes, or want to buy them to add to your own fitness equipment collection, I’ve got an awesome workout for you that will not only burn a shitload of calories while increasing your strength and coordination, but it will also make you feel super empowered.
Battle Rope Workout!
I tried this workout with my client, Kaly, this past Saturday and she was working up a sweat and having so much fun in the process (even in the miserable Glasgow rain that has made a comeback)! She was a good sport and let me take a few snapshots!
Incidentally, it’s really hard capturing someone busting their butt with battling ropes like she was!
I love to keep workouts fun and interesting and with battle ropes you get just that. Strength training and endurance rolled into one killer workout. I HIGHLY recommend giving them a try if you want to mix things up and feel totally badass!
I also asked you to think about what you’ve been struggling with, and what this struggle has been costing you in your life.
That’s SUCH a loaded question, right?
Well, it is and it isn’t.
Stay with me.
Let’s take a step back here and talk a bit more in depth about the correlation between what you’re struggling with and how that struggle is SERVING your basic needs.
Yes, your STRUGGLE is meeting your needs and that’s why you can’t (or won’t) let go of it.
Let’s take a look at my own struggles with anxiety and bulimia.
How my struggles (bulimia and anxiety) met my needs
My bulimia and anxiety were consistent and comfortable.
My bulimia and anxiety provided me with numerous additional problems that left me distracted and kept me busy trying to fix everybody else around me, whilst totally ignoring my own issues.
My bulimia and anxiety made me feel significant! Hooray! I had to contend with something emotionally, mentally and physically challenging, and believe me, everybody knew it. All day.
My bulimia and anxiety made me feel connected. When you’re not well, people pay attention to you. When you’re not well, people worry about you. Attention and worry made me feel connected to myself as well.
My bulimia and anxiety helped me to grow. Or at least, I thought those problems helped me grow, The truth is, I was pedalling like crazy, but not getting anywhere. I was Sisyphus and these struggles were my rock.
My struggles felt safe to me because my needs were being met and they gave me a sense of purpose and focus. I was in my comfort zone.
What Is Your Comfort Zone Costing You?
We’ve examined some ways in which my struggles with anxiety and bulimia were meeting my needs but let’s now take a look at the expense those needs being met had on my overall well being.
That quote, from the awe-inspiring Brene Brown, really sums up what I’m about to say. As many of us know (perhaps just deep down rather than readily-available) is this:
Comfort promotes stagnancy.
Stagnancy prohibits change.
Change is necessary to overcome adversity.
Consequently, our adversity cannot be overcome while we’re in a state of comfort.
Don’t believe the previous statement to be true? Let’s say you’re someone like me, who has struggled with bulimia.
Bulimia is certainly an uncomfortable disease physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. However, even with all of the ways bulimia is uncomfortable, it can also provide a tremendous amount of comfort:
Certainty — it’s consistent and reliable — in other words, it’s a crutch.
Significance — it’s challenging — in other words, it keeps creating drama to deflect attention from bigger issues.
Connection — it provides attention and sympathy — in other words, it creates a “dysfunctional” identity.
“Growth” — I placed this word in quotations because it provides coping mechanisms — in other words, it provides ways to allow for adaption without any solution.
This is the same across many, many struggles. If what you’re struggling with is a crutch, deflects attention from bigger issues, creates a dysfunctional identity, or enables you to adapt your struggle to your day-to-day life without any solution in sight, it’s costing you.
No matter how big or small your struggle is, you can be sure of one thing: It is keeping you from living the life you deserve.
I believe when Brene Brown says, “You can choose courage or you can choose comfort, but you cannot have both,” she is talking about stepping away from how our struggles are meeting our needs and costing us our dreams, relationships and so much more. She is talking about embracing our struggles in a way which challenges our comfort zones so that we can find the courage to live a life where our needs are met in productive and progressive ways.
Questions that evoke lasting change
I wish I could say that beyond identifying your struggle and coming to terms with how it’s meeting your needs, it would be easy to make the changes you need to.
Nothing worthwhile comes easily, does it?
This doesn’t mean that there aren’t helpful ways to move forward, however. There are four important questions you can ask yourself and when you answer them with total honesty, I believe, you can get yourself through whatever it is that has been challenging you.
If your struggle disappeared, what would you want next for yourself? Dig deep.
If this problem belonged to someone you care about, what would you be willing and determined to do to solve it? We often sacrifice our own happiness for others, but if we’ve been sacrificing it for ourselves all along, it’s harder to know how far we will push ourselves. Give yourself that same effort!
If this problem is impeding your courage, how uncomfortable are you willing to become in order to make your next move? Make a list of all of the things you have wanted to do that your struggle has kept you from doing and give yourself 30 days to take on one of those things. Document your discomfort or talk about it with someone you trust, but whatever you do, work through it and get it done!
Who else’s life could be improved by seeing you happy, healthy, and making progress? Those who love us cannot live without suffering while we suffer. Think of how you can improve your relationships whilst you improve yourself. Remember, we are all connected in this universe and our actions affect everything (and everyone) we touch.
I hope that these posts have been helpful for those of you who are currently facing struggles or challenges in your life. As I work through my Life Coaching program, I am continuing to learn so much about myself and the how and why of the choices I’ve made in my life up until now.
I’m not suggesting that there may have never been anything positive to come out of the challenges you have faced. Just think about something you have come out to the other side from in your life already. We all have the power to cultivate a life with meaning and purpose, and in order to do that we have to be equipped with the right amount of insight and compassion.
Do you know how you’re going to approach your struggles? Do you believe we cannot have both courage and comfort? Has this helped you identify an area (or areas) in your life that you want to improve upon?