It’s been about 6 weeks since my last Abroad City: An American Living in Glasgow post, so, to say it’s long overdue, would be an understatement. There are a few rants that I must get off my chest and also it’s Thursday, so we’re all thinking out loud with Amanda at Running with Spoons!
Again, I want to stress that I am completely aware that I’m the foreigner, and that I’m the odd one here. There’s so much that I love about Scotland, and even things I prefer. (Um, Cadbury?) It’s still hard to adjust sometimes, that’s all!
So, with that being said, onto my expat woes!
7 Days of Summer
I don’t really need to get into too much explanation here, as I have profusely bitched about the summer we’ve been experiencing over here, but seriously, this shit has been whack.
We’ve had legit, like, 7 days of weather actually resembling the summer I know (which, incidentally isn’t the summer Scotland generally receives). Apparently you get used to it, at least that’s what the doctor said to me when I asked for some Xanax to cope.
Luckily there are fake tanners a plenty here, so people can pretend they’ve got a sunkissed look.
Or forget to blend. Which happens here. A lot.
Also, I found this funny sarcastic tribute to Scotland on BuzzFeed. It’s worth a peek no matter where you’re from.
No Air Conditioning
Okay, so why do I care if there’s air conditioning if it’s not even hot here? I generally don’t. However, when you’re in a crowded place this time of year, it would make all the difference. For example, this past Saturday, Luke and I went to see the play The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time at the King’s Theatre.
It’s an old theatre. Obviously. We were actually warned by friends the night beforehand that if we were sitting in the balcony area we’d better prepare to suffocate. My husband said, “our tickets are floor seating so it shouldn’t be too bad.” So, Saturday night we both sported long sleeved shirts and were ushered up to the f’n BALCONY.
I’m not exaggerating when I say this, it must have been 90 degrees from all the bodies and breath up there with no air. I’m not even just bitching about the lack of air conditioning, I’m talking about the lack of air circulation. By the time intermission happened I was just seconds away from a claustrophobic panic attack! I get that it’s an old theatre and it would probably cost a fortune and ruin some of it’s authentic charm, but, in my opinion, it made me not appreciate the play as much as I would have liked to.
Mostly, because the woman next to me kept hitting my face whilst fanning the sweat off of her’s with her show programme.
What can I say? We Americans LOVE us a sterile temperature.
Buttered Popcorn? Computer says, “No”.
A few weeks ago, Luke and I finally went to see Jurassic World. We don’t go to the movies (or cinema as they say here) too often, but we felt like this film was worthy of the “big screen” experience. Whenever I go to the movie theater, I always indulge in movie theater goodies, because, why not? I go SO infrequently and it’s part of the experience. I always get a popcorn with butter, M&Ms, and a Cherry Coke.
Not this time.
I asked for butter on my popcorn.
The cashier was like…
So, I was like…
She wasn’t kidding. They mostly do sweet popcorn here, which, honestly, in any other situation would have been just fine. This was the movie theater though, where…
My American friend, Jolyne, told me that they sell American movie theater style microwave popcorn at the Costco over here and that she’s learned to just smuggle it in with her.
It’s just not the same, though.
It doesn’t need to be the same, Erin. You’re in a different place, with different magic. On a serious note, I DO get over these things. This is just a reflective rant. In fact, by the time you read this, it will be all out of my system.
Until the next thing that makes me go, “hmmm”.
Any thoughts? Are you a buttered popcorn fan? Ever seen a self-tanner fail? Ever self-tanner failed yourself?
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